this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024
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Star Wars

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The dialog makes more sense, but the narrative flow is wrong. Interesting to see this version and ponder how much the later edit saved the scene and heightened tension.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It did feel weird they saw the message and didnt react to it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah it's very jarring. She's dropping this huge bomb on them and they proceef to talk about other stuff. His first question being about the clone wars rather than wondering who she is or asking about what's going on, makes it seem like he's very not interested.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Luke not having any context, and not caring about a random droids message, that makes sense

But f****** Obi-Wan should be more impacted by being explicitly called out

[–] wjrii 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yeah, that’s the part that doesn’t work. Even if they needed to cram the exposition in between the world-changing call to action and the hero’s refusal, you have to tie them together and give then some stakes: “Before I decide anything, you need to tell me WTF she’s talking about” or the like. But then you need more dialogue and it changes the tone of the scene.

It tracks better to have us drop in on the almost completed exposition conversation/rest and recovery after the sand people attack, before jumping into the next crisis.