this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 135 points 3 months ago

Reminds me of the "comrade major" tea joke joke. Stolen from the Internet:

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”

[–] teft 58 points 3 months ago (4 children)

This comic reminds of a hilarious movie. It’s a dark comedy called The Death of Stalin. It’s got a bunch of great actors in it.

Well worth the watch.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

+1

Really funny movie!!!

[–] peopleproblems 14 points 3 months ago

I encourage people unfamiliar with the actual death of Stalin to read up a bit about it, and watch it with subtitles.

It's very dense with comedy.

[–] HootinNHollerin 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Steve Buschemi is Krushev iirc

[–] Agent641 9 points 3 months ago

The part where he insists he swap places with Molotov is hilarious. Solemnly moves behind him, but molotov just doesnt move. And picking out portraits, he says "I want that one... destroyed."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Are you sure it wasn't a documentary?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 months ago

– Comrade Stalin, is it true that you collect political jokes?
– Yes
– How many have you collected?
– Four labor camps' worth

[–] aeronmelon 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

“I take you to gulag because is job, but I think you very funny guy.”

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

Crazy story about Joey Stalin. While working underground for the Bolsheviks, he was arrested and sent to the gulags repeatedly. He escaped from the Tsarist-era Gulags four different times before the Russian government fell in 1917.

Going from career criminal to the Soviet Era head of the police was one hell of a heel turn.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He was a prolific burglar, terrorist, extortionist and even pirate whose acts of expropriation supported both the ongoing operations in Russia and vacations of the likes of Lenin. A bloody bastard himself, he was very, intoxicatingly dedicated. And this trait goes through all of his life.

These weren't Gulags, not even by the dates - as they got organized under Stalin - but by the principle. It was a send-over to some remote region, just like Gulags, but that wasn't like a project of building BAM or factories most of the time, or even working. It was a pretty liberal (compared to a prison cell) containment but in a place that you can't easily leave, usually close to some settlement in the middle of nowhere. There are gossips about young Koba fucking around in them or living autonomously even from the guards. It was probably more of a hard sentence before, but by the 1910s no one gave a fuck. It was, though, compensated by him getting sent to the most brutal of these in the end, yet, he managed to live on his own terms there and prepare for escape as best as he could.

Gulags, or working concentration camps, were way more brutal. No gas chambers, just a rolled back strictness of the regime and inhumane conditions, demands, and a better control over transportation, ID checks, meaning even Stalin could've had troubles getting into St. Petersburg like he did since every bedbug is counted and has papers, unlike an escaping georgian with a long history of violence.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

These weren’t Gulags

Katorga camps were established in the 17th century by Tsar Alexis of Russia in newly conquered, underpopulated areas of Siberia and the Russian Far East. These wouldn't earn the moniker "Gulag" until the 1930s, but they occupied the same territory and served the same purpose. Hell, through the October Revolution many even kept the same staff.

Gulags, or working concentration camps, were way more brutal.

"When people starved to death in a fenced off wilderness farmland under the Tsar, they had it too easy!"

Okay, buddy.

even Stalin could’ve had troubles getting into St. Petersburg like he did since every bedbug is counted and has papers

The Soviets never actually solved the problem of political corruption, and that was the main mechanism by which you escaped any of these prisons.

20th century mechanized bureaucracy afforded governments the ability to arrest and imprison at an industrial scale. But people were walking out of heavily fortified prisons straight into the 1990s, thanks to the abysmal economic conditions of staff and prisoners alike.

Forged documents were in abundant supply. And without a central electromic system of record, "having papers" was more a consequence of who you knew than who you actually were.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

"When people starved to death in a fenced off wilderness farmland under the Tsar, they had it too easy!"

Okay, buddy.

Places for ссылка weren't all equal. In the ealry 20th century this system was that leaky many Stalin's pals escapes it too, and actually comunicated with civil populace around their place of imprisonment. Corruption in the last years of Niko's reign was unlike to what it was in soviet era.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

IIRC he even had an illegitimate kid in one.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

An old person is carrying a placard that says Thank You comrade Stalin for a wonderful childhood. A party member takes him aside and asks him how that is possible because Stalin wasn't born when he would have been young. The old person replied, "That's exactly why I am grateful".

[–] Agent641 11 points 3 months ago

Classic Beria