"feeling numbly calm" sounds like apathy. I get that way when I get burned out on life's bullshit. Weed won't fix that.
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Very much could be! Honestly I don’t remember the last time I haven’t felt this way without weed. Though possibly. I am autistic but I also meet so many facets on the psychopathic spectrum too. Though idk. I just wish I could actually be happy.
I know how you feel. It's hard to feel happy sometimes. The best thing to do with apathy is accept it for what it is and allow yourself to be apathetic. Trying to force a fix never works. And honestly, who says you have to be happy or sad or whatever? It can take a couple weeks to pass. Just do the bare minimum for a while. And if you feel like staring at the wall, then just let yourself stare at the wall. Just let yourself exist for a while without pressure. It will pass.
I surely understand what you mean. The best things to do. Is just sit and accept it. Then try and learn how to get ride of it. In my case. I’ve felt very similar ever since I can last remember which was about 15 years old. The issue is for example I was born with psychopathy but it wasn’t normal and really not that bad and I could feel emotions. Though I have zero memory of my childhood or most of my teen years. I also have zero inner dialogue most times and no mental imagery… so it’s kinda lonely. That’s why it’s kinda ironic. I have DID and I can’t hear or talk to the others most times but they talk to ppl through me. 😂😭