this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2024
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cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/11293490

Jimmy would rather see butterflies and eat fresh produce.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Where the fuck is the other end of that hose.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

ze blueuchuz divais iz konnekted suchkszexfullee

[–] dejected_warp_core 4 points 2 months ago

Where the fuck is either end of that hose?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So. If I'm every in a position where I can be an unethically constrained mad scientist type who really wants to make a difference...

I would engineer a virus, maybe delivered by mosquitoes, that inserts the ability to produce the enzyme cellulase into the human gut. This would allow us to eat grass in a pinch, likely solving world hunger. Of course, it would suck to eat grass, so most people wouldn't -- just like most avoid eating dandelions today. But it would be a cool fallback position in a global crisis.

[–] dejected_warp_core 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There's a guy on youtube (The Thought Emporium) that did something similar so he could defeat lactose intolerance, however temporarily. For a while, until his gut shed its lining, he could synthesize lactase again. So doing the same with cellulase isn't that far fetched. What I would really be worried about is the prodigious amount of gas you would generate, as our guts aren't really mechanically built for that degree of rear-gut fermentation. I think you'd have to start with an elimination diet of some kind (keto?) and work forward to small amounts of vegetation to test what your body can handle. It's all doable, but risky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3FcbFqSoQY

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

This is very cool -- without the evil scientist element :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have you read Oryx & Crake?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Haha, yes. Chicken nobblies

[–] phoneymouse 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Lawns were specifically invented to show off one’s need not to grow anything on their land. Only the peasants were farmers. The upper class flaunted their wealth and status by planting lawns and ornamental gardens.

[–] Hobo 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do you have a source other then your backside for that? Cause I'm pretty sure lawns started out as communal grazing and recreational areas.

[–] phoneymouse 5 points 2 months ago

Not disputing that grass or communal grazing grounds existed, but the idea of having grass planted around your residence the way we do it today was a practice of elite medieval European landowners.

Soon, though, expansive lawns ensured that all could view European landowners' estates, explains Rooney. To use one's property for aesthetics and leisure, rather than food production, signaled vast amounts of wealth and financial security, says the Washington Post. Even the palace of Versailles boasted a lawn called a "tapis vert," which translates to a green carpet (via Scientific American).

Read More: https://www.grunge.com/846877/the-surprising-history-of-grass-lawns/

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I started growing a wildflower garden on huge sections of my stupid lawn and growing big ol' lilies around the perimeter for two reasons:

  1. I didn't want to mow it
  2. People kept walking across it waaaay too close to my front door
  3. Keeping people away

Now I have the most lovely spite garden in the neighborhood, plus lots of clover and the greenest and most colorful yard compared to everyone else.

[–] CluckN 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why feed pets if you can’t eat them?

[–] esc27 6 points 2 months ago

Or children...

[–] squeezeyerbawdy 1 points 2 months ago

Well they can eat us when we croak so fair enough. If we don’t feed our cat sharply at 5 am makes us think she just might take a nibble.