Thank you for the text summary!
homeassistant
Home Assistant is open source home automation that puts local control and privacy first. Powered by a worldwide community of tinkerers and DIY enthusiasts. Perfect to run on a Raspberry Pi or a local server. Available for free at home-assistant.io
I find Home assistant has all these points with the exception of accessibility; I only have one account so I never encountered this scenario.
The trace feature is amazing to visualize the logic.
I do wish it had a test run feature so you can simulate different examples and data to see is the automation behaves as expected. I had one finicky automation that would fudge up after midnight.
Home Assistant has all these points, but it's about the automations we build. In the video, he explores an automation that dims the lights when he plays stuff on the TV and brightens the lights when he pauses. He explores why it's not kid or wife friendly and how to fix it.