this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] Jubei_K_08 6 points 7 months ago

I mean, why not let him get a full whiff of that bouquet? Sober him before you go any further.

[–] A_Random_Idiot 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

i miss the days of my bygone youth when i only shat once a week.

and it was a firm, sturdy shit, One roll of toilet paper would last me months...never required more than the safety wipe.

[–] Tikiporch 6 points 7 months ago

Easy. Only #1 in your hotel room bathroom, #2 in the hotel lobby bathroom, restaurant bathroom, or any other public bathroom.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That happened to me once. I required stitches afterwards.

[–] SlopppyEngineer 4 points 7 months ago
[–] HootinNHollerin 6 points 7 months ago

Pending anal apocalypse

[–] Tebbie 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

A trick I have is to eat less and eat fiber.

[–] Elocomanzo 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Poopourry on Amazon. It helps.

[–] HootinNHollerin 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Matches too, way cheaper

[–] SlopppyEngineer 4 points 7 months ago

Ascend to a higher plane of existence. Then you can quickly unmanifest and remanifest a fresh body free of waste products.

[–] Sam_Bass 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] SlopppyEngineer 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's the opposite if you're even just a little bit lactose intolerant

[–] Sam_Bass 3 points 7 months ago

Then hit a couple dulcolax a couple days before leaving to empty your guts out and refrain from filling them back up til you get where youre going

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