this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2024

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Calgary judge rules 27-year-old can go ahead with MAID death despite father's concerns (www.cbc.ca)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

25 comments fedilink hide all child comments

But W.V. believes his daughter "is vulnerable and is not competent to make the decision to take her own life," according to Feasby's summary of the father's position.

"He says that she is generally healthy and believes that her physical symptoms, to the extent that she has any, result from undiagnosed psychological conditions."

Her only known diagnoses described in court earlier this month are autism and ADHD.

all 26 comments

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I lost my first born to suicide 10 years ago. It was their 6th known attempt in 7 months. We were doing everything we could to help them. The only thing i would have done differently is been there to hold their hand and say goodbye. We knew it was going to happen, it was a matter of how and when.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

I know it probably doesn't mean much from an internet stranger, but I'm sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine that kind of pain, since you never expect them to go before you. 😢 Thank you for sharing your story.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 7 months ago (2 children)

He has no idea what her life is like from the inside or what degree of suffering she may be experiencing, because he is not her. All he knows is that her opting for MAID will cause him suffering.

If she's competent to manage her own finances and legal affairs, she's also competent to make this decision. Either she is an independent adult, or she is not. There's no halfway.

[–] Twentytwodividedby7 -3 points 7 months ago (3 children)

You also don't know what she's going through either because the article did not provide any detail at all. For all we know, she could have an easily treated chemical imbalance. I think the point is that a 27 year old without a terminal illness shouldn't just be able to commit medically assisted suicide.

I don't know what this person has gone through because it doesn't say in the article, but 27 is still young. It's also possible that this is a huge mistake that she would regret with hindsight (well SHE wouldn't, but all of her loved ones certainly would).

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

That’s the fun part, you don’t get a say in her life without her consent. We don’t choose to be born but we sure as shit get to choose what we do while we’re here. It doesn’t matter what you think because this isn’t about you.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

If it's "an easily treated chemical imbalance", they would have diagnosed it by now. The MAID process is far from instantaneous. She's had plenty of opportunity to be evaluated, and her father has had plenty of opportunity to persuade her to be evaluated.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

On a philosophical level, why shouldn't a healthy 27 year old be able to opt out?

[+] Twentytwodividedby7 -6 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Because with experience comes wisdom. It sounds like she was trying to become eligible under the mental illness section from the one line we are given from the father who said she is in reasonably good physical health.

If it is depression or something, it's possible with treatment that she could look back on it one day as a dark period, but one she's glad she made it through. Things that were once so major in life might become minor in the long run.

[–] optissima 7 points 7 months ago

What if it's 27 years of suffering?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Dude. There is this thing called "treatment-resistant depression" that medicine still can't find any way to help. A diagnosis of "depression" doesn't mean that anything can be done.

Chances are good this woman has already been through treatment and psychiatric evaluation to get her existing diagnoses.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

This is pretty much what I'm dealing with. All the medicine I've tried just makes me a zombie and that's even worse. With those meds all I wanted to do is sleep because of the depression and all my body wants to do is sleep because of the medicine... So not only did it not work, it made life more difficult.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I appreciate everything you're saying. And I tend to agree with the things.

Not talking about this person in particular, but a completely healthy individual who has decided for their own reasons to exit. Why should anybody else get a say in that?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My wife has an illness that sounds similar (I’m her full time caregiver, unfortunately). We get this “it is all in your head” bullshit all the time. But I see my wife suffer unbelievably every day. Fuck this father.

And everyone should have the right to do as they wish with their own body.

[+] Twentytwodividedby7 -10 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Sounds similar to what? They didn't describe the contributing factors at all in the article.

For all we know she has depression or some other chemical imbalance that could be treated and she would have a perfectly normal life. And fuck the father for loving his daughter? You're clearly not a parent...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

We know it's not what you said because those are not reasons allowed for MAID at this time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Stop trying to make decisions for others. You don’t know better (or anything beyond the article) and you’re assuming you do. You’re literally pushing for more suffering in the world and for people to not have their own say over their lives and their bodies. What makes you so special? You don’t get a say.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I am a parent of an adult. I agree with the comment you replied to, even though it would cause me great personal suffering to lose my child. I love them enough to prefer then not suffer to appese me. They're happy, but it could easily be different. I'm lucky.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Two doctors signed off. They don't offer this service for depression or small issues. Right to Die movement is for people who are beyond having quality of life that gives them enough satisfaction to deal with their illness.

See How to Die in Oregon. In this docu, there's a woman with a tumor who fights to be a part of the world until it looks like she swallowed a large football. That's the point when she chose to end it. She clearly wanted to live but it just stopped being worth the suffering.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

She is 27 and still living at home where the article describes the dad as her caretaker. She has both an autism and ADHD diagnosis, but Dad thinks all her physical symptoms derive from her making them up, because he believes her to have an undiagnosed mental illness. I'm just one person that believes they are on the spectrum (with ADHD), but physical symptoms are real. Having a caretaker that refuses to believe you is not going to make for a great life. Especially depending on your symptoms, which again because she is 27 and still at home with a parental caretaker, I'm guessing that they are pretty involved.

Also, these are often both genetic and passed down from a parent, so where is mom in this scenario? And might that also be playing a part in this?

Anyhoo, my 2 cents.

[+] [email protected] -19 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Yeah, you clearly understand the situation better than her fucking parents, from the shitty news stories.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Chill out, this isn't reddit

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Not to completely shit on dad here either, it could well be that he is also on the spectrum and has lived in an environment that has instilled in him that you just ignore your needs because that makes you "normal". That is why I was wondering about mom, as it is more than likely one of them is on the spectrum also and perhaps just never diagnosed and their child being diagnosed has unlocked some shit.

Anyways I'm not a psychiatrist, just going through my own adult realization of things, and it's not easy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Dad could be exacerbating symptoms.