this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2024
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Women with Autism

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Since autism in females presents differently, we need a place to discuss our own issues and triumphs dealing with Autism.

Rules

Be respectful.

Adhere to the rules of the instance.

This is a safe space, no mean, hateful, racist, etc stuff here.

Men are welcome as long as they are respectful of our space. They should know our struggles too!

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Autism in Women: An Unofficial List (the-art-of-autism.com)
submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by cristalcommons to c/womenwithautism
11 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hello,

I wanted to share this list I learnt about by scrolling Reddit.

The author of this list, Samantha Craft, from The Art of Autism website, has created a list of features Autistic women may feel identified with.

It seems Samantha has shared this list for other Asperger women to see if they relate to these traits and comment about the features they may have in common.

There are a total of around 8-10 sections focusing on different areas of life, like personality, inner world, socialization, sensitivity, executive disfunction...

I will share my thoughts in the comment section to keep the original post 'neutral' enough.

Have a good day.

EDIT2: i will change the original title in the blog post from "Females with Autism" to "Autism in Women".

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

females

[–] cristalcommons 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

sorry, could you explain? is it about the polemic semantic weight in the word 'female'?

i feel "non-binary/fluid" most of the time but i didn't socialize enough to use some words correctly.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

It's just so often used by incels that it now reads to me as clinical or dehumanizing/objectifying. I'm not a woman though so please don't take my view as any type of authority. Don't feel bad.

[–] cristalcommons 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Hello, I apologize for not realizing about the problems around the use of the term 'female', thanks for explaining.

Yesterday, I just learnt about Feminine autism after a neuropsychologist mentioned it to me. He said 'feminine', because of the gender-cultured reasons contributing to underdiagnosis in women and LGBTIQ individuals too.

That's the reason I am doing my best to understand by reading in communities as r/AutismInWomen, and noticing the need for safe spaces due to issues with the male autistic community.

Still, I just would like to note that some individuals new to minority-based communities may be new to the language on itself and have this double struggle with social interactions leading to "double exclusion" in certain situations, e.g. in the LGBTIQ+ community.

I promise my intentions are not bad, but I can struggle for hours to communicate a simple idea effectively and still do an epic fail. Sorry.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Again, honestly, please don't apologise. It was very clear there were no ill intended undertones in your use of the word in the post and I shouldn't have been so flippant, especially with no context, in my initial comment. You did nothing wrong. Please don't let this interaction in any way make you less likely to contribute in the future.

Language is a tricky, flexible thing, and everyone is going to have their own slightly different view of the meanings and subtext of words and phrases.

Female can of course be an acceptable term. It's my own baggage of being so online that made it become a personal flag where I automatically question author intent.

[–] cristalcommons 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Oh, I would like to clarify I could see from the very beginning that the intention behind your message was ensuring this community was a safe space for people who had to escape from harmful ideologies.

I feel ashamed of existing and I struggle with socializing because of past experiences, not your messages. In the first message, you were trying to defend others. In the second message, you told me the problem behind the word.

However, due to my difficulties fitting in and experiencing breakdowns everytime I try socializing, I have to accept once again that it's best for me to step back.

Again, it's nobody's fault. Thank you all and have a good weekend.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

You have no less right to exist than anyone else. Socializing is tough and breakdowns are the worst. Try not to beat yourself up about that. If you feel you need to step back then do so but I hope you won't be away too long.

Remember, people sometimes comment without giving a second thought (see above lol, sorry) so try to give them equally little thought when they trouble you.

Edit: also, I was browsing all and thought this was the general autism community when initially commenting, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything, sorry

[–] Eheran 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wow those points are... very unspecific. Like completely normal human things. Almost like the stuff found in a horoscope. Everyone will identify with that.

[–] cristalcommons 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

oh, you mean like Barnum Effect? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnum_effect)

i don't know what is normal anymore... i always thought i was neurotypical, common, but i got BPD diagnosed, bullied, stigmatised because of these 'completely normal human things'. yesterday i was told it could be a feminine Aspie.

sorry... i'm ashamed, but it's just my fault, i couldn't understand. thanks for your comment.

[–] Eheran 0 points 8 months ago

Perhaps there are more "telling" signs in section B, which I can still not find.

What should you be ashamed of? What fault?

[–] wellee 2 points 7 months ago

I can identify with quite a few of these, although a few freak me out. #9 treated friends as pawns in youth... oh goodness I hope I did not, I don't think I did!

Personally I feel as a girl (vs boys) I feel I was taught to be sensitive to others people's feelings, while simultaneously being autistic and not understanding the feelings and always saying the wrong thing. Cursed