When I was in college, I worked across the street for a Starbucks. I used to always go there for a cup of coffee, take a few sips, and go to my desk. Every day at exactly 9:30 I had to take a shit. Like clockwork.
this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2023
566 points (97.8% liked)
Memes
46442 readers
3139 users here now
Rules:
- Be civil and nice.
- Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
For some reason my body seems to learn a schedule for going to the bathroom, regardless of whether it's solid or liquid.
Never comes alone as well.
Brown goes in, brown comes out. It's only logical
I experience this daily; drink a cup of coffee starting at 9:30, then by 11 I'm pooping on company time.
Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime. This is why I poop on company time.
Same, except that I'm up at 5, out the door by 6. You'd think I'd learn to smash that first cup at 5.10-5.15 and poop before I go...but who's the idiot slamming a cup on the way out the door and hustling from the bus to site every day? That's right, it's me....
For some reason the phrase “the poop in my butt” cracks me up. Just the mere concept of faeces being in the buttocks and not the intestines is really funny.
It's just like pee stored in the balls.
Or stored in the mouth
For real, why is it like that???
The coffeine and chlorogenic acids (also found in eggplants, peaches and plums) in coffee stimulate the bowels which then can lead to bowel movement for some people.
Add some nicotine into the mix and boom. Explosive diarrhea.
Seriously, one sip and it’s toilet time
For me is a double espresso and cold water. I do it after lunch. 60% of the time, works every time.
A lot of times it hits me right after it's ready to drink lol.
😂😂😂
proper shitpost that is. prefer espresso though. sometimes the smell is enough to make me go to the throne.
If I wasn’t in a rush before I always am after that first sip. Have to go running.
Just got a drip coffe machine, guess this is my life now
Morning coffee with a cig - gastric lavage