this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2023
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[–] RealHumanBeann 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I was in college, I worked across the street for a Starbucks. I used to always go there for a cup of coffee, take a few sips, and go to my desk. Every day at exactly 9:30 I had to take a shit. Like clockwork.

[–] celerate 5 points 1 year ago

For some reason my body seems to learn a schedule for going to the bathroom, regardless of whether it's solid or liquid.

[–] MrSangrief 13 points 1 year ago

Never comes alone as well.

[–] c2h6 9 points 1 year ago

Brown goes in, brown comes out. It's only logical

[–] GlitzyArmrest 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I experience this daily; drink a cup of coffee starting at 9:30, then by 11 I'm pooping on company time.

[–] FuckingQuintana 7 points 1 year ago

Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime. This is why I poop on company time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Same, except that I'm up at 5, out the door by 6. You'd think I'd learn to smash that first cup at 5.10-5.15 and poop before I go...but who's the idiot slamming a cup on the way out the door and hustling from the bus to site every day? That's right, it's me....

[–] dojan 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For some reason the phrase “the poop in my butt” cracks me up. Just the mere concept of faeces being in the buttocks and not the intestines is really funny.

[–] MuadDoc 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's just like pee stored in the balls.

[–] c2h6 0 points 1 year ago

Or stored in the mouth

[–] PumpedSardines 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For real, why is it like that???

[–] Reoru 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The coffeine and chlorogenic acids (also found in eggplants, peaches and plums) in coffee stimulate the bowels which then can lead to bowel movement for some people.

[–] teneriffa 3 points 1 year ago

Add some nicotine into the mix and boom. Explosive diarrhea.

[–] Thetrademarq 3 points 1 year ago

Seriously, one sip and it’s toilet time

[–] camelCaseGuy 3 points 1 year ago

For me is a double espresso and cold water. I do it after lunch. 60% of the time, works every time.

[–] Deltoids 3 points 1 year ago

A lot of times it hits me right after it's ready to drink lol.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

😂😂😂

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

proper shitpost that is. prefer espresso though. sometimes the smell is enough to make me go to the throne.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

If I wasn’t in a rush before I always am after that first sip. Have to go running.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Just got a drip coffe machine, guess this is my life now

[–] kand7 1 points 1 year ago

Morning coffee with a cig - gastric lavage