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The Onion

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Israel Assures It Doing Everything Possible To Minimize Civilians (www.theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] TheBat 81 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The Onion is doing what 'real' media should've been doing.

[–] MindSkipperBro12 15 points 11 months ago

I thought the news was a tragedy, now I realize it’s a fucking comedy.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's a good play on words.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Bruh I just realized.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

“Let me be clear: Our war is against Hamas. We have explicitly instructed our commanders that they should take pains so there are as few innocent men, women, and children in Gaza as humanly possible.”

Brutal. Well done, Onion writers

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

🤌

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

1.15% of the population already died. Not all of them civilians.

[–] SlopppyEngineer 27 points 11 months ago

"We've only killed 27.000 people so we're the good guys, you see."

[–] eatthecake 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It's

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

It's not a mistake. Omitting "be" verbs is a common convention in headlines. They're just imitating the style of major newspapers.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 1 points 11 months ago

Monty Python's Flying Circus!