The Onion

4382 readers

505 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

433

Israel Assures It Doing Everything Possible To Minimize Civilians (www.theonion.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 11 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] TheBat 81 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The Onion is doing what 'real' media should've been doing.

[–] MindSkipperBro12 15 points 8 months ago

I thought the news was a tragedy, now I realize it’s a fucking comedy.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That's a good play on words.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Bruh I just realized.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

“Let me be clear: Our war is against Hamas. We have explicitly instructed our commanders that they should take pains so there are as few innocent men, women, and children in Gaza as humanly possible.”

Brutal. Well done, Onion writers

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

🤌

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

1.15% of the population already died. Not all of them civilians.

[–] SlopppyEngineer 27 points 8 months ago

"We've only killed 27.000 people so we're the good guys, you see."

[–] eatthecake 3 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

It's not a mistake. Omitting "be" verbs is a common convention in headlines. They're just imitating the style of major newspapers.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 1 points 8 months ago

Monty Python's Flying Circus!