aviation

Aviation incidents are lower than automotive incidents per person-mile. The standards by which pilots are trained far exceed the standards to which drivers are trained. And the vehicle maintenance standards are infinitely higher. Incidents do happen, and when they do, they become newsworthy (because the news loves a spectacle) and this creates a bias in perception of safety.

Humans are notoriously bad at assessing risk using gut feeling, so don't feel bad about feeling bad. But maybe take it as an opportunity to learn about their hobby. If you're afraid of flying, see if you can join them in a simulator or training cockpit just to hang out and learn. The less magical it becomes, the more confident you'll become that they'll be safe.

They don't (usually) hand out licenses to anyone who asks. You have to pass written, oral, and practical exams.

Still, it depends a lot on the specific person. Are they dedicated to safety? Will they make good decisions even if it means a big inconvenience for them (not going to make it home that day because of weather, etc.)? Will they continue to learn as they continue to fly? See "TNFlyGirl" for a recent example of how having a pilot's license does not make someone a good pilot.

You know your friends and their personalities, so you'd be the best person to ask. Are your friends safe?

It may sound counterintuitive but you might get comfort watching Air Disasters. You will see some of the mistakes that have been made in commercial aviation in the past and what has been done to correct it. Some of the mistakes are caused by the pilot but not all. Sometimes a malfunction occurs but the pilots don't react appropriately. There are several examples of incredible piloting that save lives as well so you can see what it means to properly handle a malfunction.

That said you can look up statistics of car crashes vs general aviation (fly yourself) crashes. I don't know but I suspect flying is safer. Commercial aviation is much, much safer.

If I ever tried to get a license I would always want to keep in mind how dangerous it could be and do everything possible in my control to be as safe and capable as possible.

This all assumes US/FAA.

This is surprisingly hard to quantify. The commonly repeated statistic is that general aviation is about as safe as riding a motorcycle.

One of the huge emphasis areas these days is called Aeronautical Decision Making - which is essentially making good, safe decisions. You’ll start learning that (or should at least) day one when you look at the weather and make the decision “is it safe to fly today or not”.

If you’re interested in this stuff give yourself the gift of an “intro flight”. Most schools will offer them. You’ll be in the left seat with an instructor in the right seat. You’ll get maybe 30, 45 min flying around to get a feel for flying a small plane in the general aviation world. There is no commitment but be careful because there really is nothing else like it.

And funny enough - there are a bunch of pilots afraid of heights but have no problems flying.

Safer than a motorcycle, barely.

People will say aviation is super safe. They should be saying commercial aviation is super safe.

Most accidents are pilot error, and pilots with a personal license do not typically have nearly as much training as a commercial pilot.

With a good instructor it's a lot of fun though and I highly recommend.