ADHD

from what i understand, dopamine plays a massive factor in contributing to motivation in most people.

made a todo list? here’s some dopamine. finish a task? have another drop of dopamine.

meanwhile, the dispensing system in an ADHD brain is faulty and thus does not deliver the same sense of accomplishment that would generally fuel an NT to continue their productivity.

warm take: while i agree finding strategies for “manual mode” are import, so is, imo, learning how to sit comfortably in that unproductive space. counter productive as it may seem, sometimes it’s the weight of that pressure to feel motivated that’s the stressor, not the lack of motivation in and of itself.

I heard some good advice recently. It starts with an aside.

What's the #1 factor for finding a partner? Proximity. Out of personality, looks, attraction, whatever. The #1 thing is if the other person lives in the same city.

Same goes for productivity. Take it down to its most basic quality. You're only going to produce anything if you actually sit down and code, or write a book, or practice an instrument. Motivation is nice, but the biggest difference between a published author and an unpublished one is that the published author sat down and wrote something.

I’ve struggled with this for years and I’ve found something recently that helps: Make a list of daily todos.

Why this helps me: I find that my mind naturally wants to switch from what I’m currently doing to something (anything) else. When this urge comes up, instead of opening up social media or whatever other time sink I totally go to, I instead open up my todo list and try to switch to one of those tasks.

What I’ve found is that even though this doesn’t stop me from ever procrastinating with video games or other time-sinks, I at least have found myself getting more things done that actual help my life rather than just sitting there not knowing what else I *should * be doing.

Tips for making this work:

1. write the todos in an app on your phone (like the “Notes” app) and do not fully close that app. Leave it open in the background so it doesn’t take long to load when you need it.
2. don’t give yourself more than 3-4 things on your todo list for a day. Trust me, you won’t do more than 3-4 and you’ll feel great about yourself when you get those 3-4 done. (Go easy on yourself if you don’t get them all done — you’re still doing better than not having a list at all)
3. Before you go to bed, try and create the list for the next day.

It takes work to develop this habit, but legit just try it for a couple of days and see how you feel.

I know this doesn’t answer your question of “how do I find what I like to do”, but I’ve found that once I start accomplishing small things, the creative juices start flowing.

Best of luck!

I have definitely been there. I don't think there's anything that's sure to work with everyone but this is what works for me. I need to set deadlines for myself that I actually care about. If they are arbitrary then they don't work, part of me will know that there won't be real consequences for missing them. So I try to set up a situation where there's a deadline that has consequences, but not anything life-ruining if I miss it. If I want to do something like cleaning up, I'll invite some friends over for a game night and then I'll have until then to do dishes, tidy up, vacuum etc. I want the place to look nice and my friends are unwittingly holding me accountable, but if there are dust bunnies or I don't clean the sink my friends are chill enough that it's not that stressful.

Another thing that's worked for me is setting a goal with a nebulous but semi-urgent deadline (like "before spring" or "before it snows" and whatever it is, magically I want to do anything other than that thing. It's amazing the things I can get done while avoiding the thing I'm "supposed" to do. So let's say you want to do your taxes before April, you'll definitely get to them this weekend, watch how suddenly there are myriad things around you to do instead!

The only thing that works for me is to start by forcing myself to do the work, and then let the work itself condition me into wanting/expecting to keep doing it.

Motivation doesn't work because it's fleeing. You need to learn discipline. You need to to learn how to do the thing even if you don't want to do it.