this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2023
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Not only will a bidet save you on toilet paper, but you will actually feel like you have a clean butt after pooping. Initially it feels weird, but after you get used to it, you won't want to poop without it.

BTW in case you are wondering: yes, you still need toilet paper to wipe the water off. But it is a small amount.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Literally the only downside of a bidet is that after you get accustomed to it, pooping anywhere without one might as well be torture

[–] Bender12 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like a dirty savage when I have to poop in strange bathrooms. Took me 45 years to realize that bidet is the way.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

What changed your mind? I've been trying to convince my pleb friends for years now and they all get awkward when I bring it up. Everyone poops. Do it better. You can get aftermarket add-ons so cheap now there's no reason not to.

Edit: sorry just switched instances and didn't realize how old this post was.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I can second everything said here.

I wouldn't have dared eaten 4 Volcano tacos & 1/2 a volcano burrito from Taco bell at once if it wasn't for my bidet attachment.

It saved me at 11pm,1am,3am,3:15am,3:50am and then finally at 4am. I saw the beans meme be brought to life & flourish that night as the water cleaned away the sins from my ass.

Eating them at night before 4th of July was a decision.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

The number of risky food decisions I’ve taken since purchasing a bidet is uncountable. A good bidet truly absolves you of all food sin.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can also buy a portable Bidet for like 10 bucks

[–] sheridan 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pretty good! The ones with the sharp bend are better than the straighter ones.

Fill it up with warm water before you poop for comfortable washing action.

No more wiping a permanent marker.

[–] Idreamofcheesy 0 points 1 year ago

You do you, but that sounds a little extra. Unless it's for your hotel room or something.

[–] snailwizard 3 points 1 year ago

I spent $300 on mine and my QoL improved immeasurably. Best money I have ever spent. It’s worth every penny!

[–] poopsmith 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Honestly, splurging and buying a more-expensive ones is worth it. I now require a heated seat, warm water, and a dryer.

[–] LordOfTheChia 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pfft, real upscale bidets also have lights, background music, and spray your bottom with your choice of scent when it's done (Cherry, Vanilla, or New Car Smell).

[–] Chickenstalker 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No need to wipe dry with TP. Simply twerk your ass until it dries.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I use a butt towel. Just need to remember to move it if any guests visit, lest they start drying their face on it.

[–] exterstellar 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you're fortunate enough to have a bidet AND a dryer, no toilet paper required baby.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think I’d like to double check.

[–] InvaderDJ 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I really want one, but I’m renting and the model I want needs an electrical outlet. There’s one on the other side of the wall right by my toilet, but I can’t have one put in.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Get an analog one without delay. That was my #1 concern before getting a bidet: "Wouldn't the water feel cold? Do I need a heater?" Guess what! After getting one that simply plugs into the cold water pipe I can now tell assuredly: the ass can't tell the difference. There are simply not enough nerve endings down there to sense the cold. Wish someone had told me sooner!

[–] Whatawiffer 1 points 1 year ago

I'm late to this but it's also the 2nd from the top all time post here so I think it should be said. I disagree, at least with a cheap add-on bidet.

The cheap ones don't heat the water first so you're sprayed with cold uncomfortable water, then you're left with a wet, cold, soggy bottom that you then need to wipe dry, so you still ended up using some tp.

[–] cyberpunk007 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just don't get how poo doesn't spray everywhere

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] cyberpunk007 2 points 1 year ago

but your asshole is not in the toilet. 🤷‍♂️