this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
685 points (99.4% liked)

The Onion

4470 readers
1823 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

AUSTIN, TX—In the latest round of layoffs for the company’s struggling automotive division, electric vehicle manufacturer Tesla fired the entire team behind brakes, sources confirmed Wednesday. “As we continue to rightsize the Tesla workforce, we have come to the decision that stopping the car is no longer a critical function,” said CEO Elon Musk, whose announcement came as a shock to the team of 500 Tesla workers responsible for the electric vehicles’ braking systems. “As the brakes never really worked anyway, we figured the team’s existence was redundant. Going forward, none of our models will be outfitted with brakes. Instead, we will shift our efforts to making fart noises louder.” At press time, Tesla staffers responsible for wheels were reportedly nervous after receiving an ominous meeting request from HR.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Honestly though this is one car system Tesla might be able to get close to having no team of their own.

The brakes on all their cars are designed and supplied by Brembo. Tesla certainly has some people making sure they'll fit. But that step is only needed when a new model is being designed. Once the model launches Tesla can make a quality person (lol) work with Brembo on any revisions.

Edit - if not clear I agree with you and am wondering if The Onion is predicting the future again.