Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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My issue honestly is, I just hate how nothing I was hoping for with HRT was happened, I don't look like any girl I've ever seen. I just feel awful and I'm treated by the public as such
I'm sorry you've experienced such awful treatment from other people. And it must be horrible not to have had the changes you feel should have happened. Women and girls have every kind facial shape and features imaginable. We all look different. There are loads of women with the same facial features that agonize you. And beyond that point, you yourself are a woman. You do know a girl who looks like you.
If there's a specific way you want to look, a specific aesthetic you want to have, there are ways of achieving that. Many women in society have beauty routines involving hair and skin to look a certain way and to practice good hygiene and self care. I myself am one of those women.
It's just hard knowing that you will always be neglected, everyone you have a crush on you won't ever date, your always the one people go to but no one is attracted too. You are just reminded of it and it's sad.
I understand how deeply this affects you. I know this advice has been given to you many times, but these struggles are affecting your mental health. You need a combined approach of lifestyle changes and mental health growth to overcome this.
I used to feel similarly and what helped me was bottom surgery. Dysphoria over my anatomy made it very hard for me to feel authentically me. Not that this is true for you or anyone else. Just that it wasn't my jaw that was the cause at the end of the day, or my brow ridge or my cheekbones or how wide my shoulders are. It was just that I couldn't see anything beyond my own dysphoria.
I've seen you, you have had much better results than I have had, I might have bad genetics and just look ugly. This isn't my fault but the reality I live in
I was in no way dismissing the reality you live in, or your feelings about your body and your appearance. Only providing my own feelings about my body and my appearance and how those feelings have changed over time.
I have never posted a picture of myself on this platform and I will not be doing that, so I'm not sure how you have seen me.
You added me on discord I think
I haven't added anyone from Lemmy on discord. You must be mistaking me for someone else.
while i won't argue people don't care at all for looks, i've seen some people who would be conventionally considered very ugly establish long lasting loves because they are genuinely wonderful to be around. it also helps to try to be around other folks like you. i had a terrible time dating until i did so in trans circles. i am now in a polycule every partner i have is trans and we're all fucking weird and most of us are at least a bit gross. you don't even have to entirely cure your depression or complete your transition to find the people are out there, you just have to find some people with things in common. and to be blunt, you calling yourself genetically cursed is akin to much of what incels say. you gotta get out of that headspace. it's not good for you.