ADHD Women

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A community for women to find support and discuss living with ADHD.

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ickplant

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Current status: agonizing standby (lemmy.world)

submitted 7 months ago by ickplant to c/adhdwomen

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[–] scrion 22 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

So it's common for the majority of the population to have their complete day ruined by being able to solely hyperfocus on said appointment from the time they wake up, double-, triple- and quadruple check all things related to the appointment, still develop anxiety over the however improbable idea they might have forgotten something or "fuck up" the appointment (even if that's actually not possible) and spent the time after the appointment completely exhausted and unable to participate in any other activity, including actual relaxation?

That's (or similar effects) are what people with ADHD and related disorders actually experience. If that would be common, I don't think appointments would be scheduled the way they are. It's not hard to observe that neurotypical people don't have to think about and focus on their appointments with increasing dread for an unreasonable time before the actual appointments.

You are right, the Internet certainly has its share of people that love to self-diagnose and parade around mental disorders and downright illnesses like scout badges, but let's just assume this is a (albeit funny and "meme-y") support community for people that face actual struggles.

[–] Paraponera_clavata 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I cant tell if I have it or everyone has it. What percentage of the population is diagnosed?

[–] scrion 2 points 7 months ago

There are estimates how common the disorder is among adults and children. Depending on how those are established, 2.5% to 5% seems like a probable range.

https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/adhd-statistics/

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0890856722001903

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Just reading this excellent description makes my skin crawl.

I’ve checked my calendar three times to make sure I have no work or personal plans for the rest of the day. Feels good.

[+] [email protected] -18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Literally yes

[–] okamiueru 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Care to expand? They made an effort to give you good arguments. The presented premise you "literally" accept is argued to not be possible. So, which is it?

[+] [email protected] -13 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Yes, a great deal of people do not like having appointments in the middle of the afternoon, and frequently check multiple times throughout the day to ensure they won’t be late, and still worry about somehow missing the appointment. That is just a normal thing. It is not a symptom of anything and especially not ADHD

[–] TrousersMcPants 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah it sounds like you're just describing general nervousness. That's not what is being talked about here. A simple half hour doctors appointment literally fucking cancels everything I wanted to do that day, it is exhausting to think about it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

So sitting there staring at the clock until it's time for your appointment and being literally unable to do anything else until it's time to go while being terrified of being late or unprepared is normal? I mean I am literally unable to do anything even if I want to. I'm diagnosed ADHD and this is more than just checking your watch a lot. If you've never had executive dysfunction you're lucky. It doesn't make sense to people who don't experience it.

[–] okamiueru 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I don't know if you're arguing in bad faith here. If you are, I don't think either of us should waste our time.

What you are describing isn't close to what the issue is for some. You should be open to the idea that this can actually be a problem to a few, while being like what you describe, to most.

The difference in almost every diagnosed condition is severity of impact. In that sense, you are right, it is quite common to keep in mind a coming appointment and worry about not being late. It is quite normal, and not a symptom of anything and especially not ADHD.

But, surely you can, if only conceptually, accept that "worry" and the adverse effects, can vary in severity? When it reduces quality of life, that's when it starts becoming a disorder. Guess what the last D is short for, for many diagnoses? It's just a bunch of common negative traits grouped by some meaningful commonality and describes as a "disorder" when it acts as one.

Which brings me back to your seemingly callous disregard of people being different, which to be frank, sounds like a you-problem.

How most people function: like what you describe
How some people dysfunction, typically associated with ADHD: you cannot do shit, because you have an appointment later. It's not even "worry", "concern", or "anxiousness". It's simply an interruption in your day, that stops you from doing anything.

If you cannot see the difference between these two, then you lack either empathy or imagination. In either case, you do you.