this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2024
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Autism

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BackOnMyBS
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Fellow auties, which do you find is a better and healthier fit for you: dating another autistic person or an NT? (self.autism)
submitted 6 months ago by BackOnMyBS to c/autism
27 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm really confused about this. On one hand (โœ‹), I can see how dating an autistic person would be amazing because we would just understand each other on another level. We would get each other's emotions, meltdowns, joy, special interests, hyperfocus, communication style, etc. Also, there's no NT partner to miss whatever NT thing we don't bring to the relationship.

On the other hand (๐Ÿคš), we definitely have some deficiencies that NTs don't. Having an NT can help us regulate, keep us updated on social matters that we completely miss, take care of a baby that's wailing crying, and other strengths that we just don't have, while at the same time, we contribute with our own strengths that they don't have.

NTs, please feel free to contribute! Your opinion and experiences are important too ๐Ÿ™‚

I'd love to see a discussion on this topic. So what do you think?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

My wife is ADHD, and I'm Autistic. I think we balence out each other, though we did have a funny experiance one time where someone (A doctor at a hospital I was at) asked her if she was autistic too, and my wife said, "No, why do you ask?" And the Dr said, "Well they tend to find each other". I did date one other person before her, and she was on the spectrum, and honestly, it didn't work very well, because we did not solve each others meltdowns, and when we did, it tended to go badly. On the upside, her ADHD lets her focus on everything that needs to be done at once, while my focus lets me remind her what she was doing, then she reminds me of all the things I didn't do yet, that didn't even cross my mind, such as breakfast, or meds. I get asked the tough questions sometimes even like "Have you had water today?", "Have you eaten?"

Diversity is good for each other I think.