this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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This is the feeling. I have one more thing in the loop tho - spark of reform: like okay, let’s do something about it. It fits in right before anxiety.
Agreed. There's also a thought experiment I think of a lot with regards to this feeling. It's about the Ship of Theseus: a mythical ship that last centuries but with all its parts and crew replaced over the years, for maintenance. Once everything has been replaced, is it still the "Ship of Theseus"?
That opens a whole existential can of worms - what makes me me, what am I outside of these things, what do I want?
I need to figure out my core being, but how do I do that?
I genuinely don't know. Personally, I vacillate between thinking of myself as a continuum (past-present-future me are all linked together and so I exist throughout time as the whole collective), or "I" don't really exist (I've always been different moment to moment, so there's no real me, so what really matters is focusing on what's happening right here, right now).
Granted, a lot of the time I'm just anxious and I'm not really thinking about it philosophically. 🤷🏻♀️