Asklemmy

43755 readers

2282 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

182

What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

405 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too.

Sorry if it wasn't clear enough, I'm looking for general terms to use for all people, regardless of their gender, not just trans people.

There have been some good examples for groups, but nothing that fits well for talking to one person directly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

My personal recommendation is to drop the extra title entirely. For everybody.

E.g. instead of saying "great work man" just say "great work." It could help you prevent flubs later.

I do wish I knew some non-binary singular terms I could use, but none come to my mind

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yes, this seems to be the simplest answer, even if it will take a while to get used to.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

I think I'm going to piggyback off inspiration of your question and ask my own, something like: "Enbies, how do you prefer partners or others refer to/about you?"

BTW, sorry for misunderstanding the goal of your post, but I appreciate your (and others') replies here.