this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2024
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Neurodivergent
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Calendar with several reminders (3 days before, 2 days before, several hours before etc.) for long term events, alarms for everything up to a week away.
Visual and spatial cues where I need them for routine building. I have dedicated spots (imagine a shelf) for important stuff, let's say medication. It only works if the routine is built around it, otherwise the spot becomes "invisible" after time and completely phases out of existence for me. Again, routine building is key.
To support that, or to be reminded of temporary chores around the house etc., I sometimes program restaurant pagers that buzz and blink, they're integrated into my home automation setup. Here, the key is to predict times when I'll have free time to execute the task and be in the right mental state to do it - again, took years to figure those times out. Change something in my environment or time schedule, and I'm fucked.
Well organized notes, I use Joplin. The key here is a multi step process, e. g. to go back to the thought dumps and organize them later, when there is time.
Overall, I want to add that improvement is definitely possible - I have kids and run a business, but if all those weird methods and quirks sound esoteric and exhausting to regular folks, rest assured they are.
The restaurant pagers is sheer genius. I can already envision the "why is that thing blinking? Oh yeah I need to do X" trigger. Unfortunately I doubt it would work for me because of the time predictability requirement (probably a big reason I struggle with planners in general I imagine), but still... my mind is blown on that one
It does work, but you are right, if there is a slight chance for confusion as to why they are where they are, there is that sweet moment where I turn off the buzzer and the memory of it all is already drifting away. I can name the alarms, and I sometimes put labels on them, but I also mostly use them for important stuff with clear locations, think boiler room in the Shining.
I figured out it helps to mix things up. Put them where they should go, but never in the same place exactly, otherwise it becomes somehow part of the pattern and is filtered out by whatever mechanism decides on what I get to perceive of reality today. That is true for all kinds of reminders btw., I add variety to try to stop my brain from getting used to it. Also, I never hesitate to do what I'm supposed to do. I did that in the past, and as I said, sometimes I feel everything slipping through my fingers in mere seconds, like sand, and it's gone. "Why am in this room? What was that thing I know to be really important that I'm supposed to be doing now?"
I am confident that with patience, you'll find out what works for you.
My reminder pattern on the calendar app is:
2 Weeks before
1 Week before
3 Days before
24 hours before
Last opportunity to act before it's too late plus some amount of time (maybe 5 minutes)