this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
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Asklemmy
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HR and management will never help you.
You should bully them back.
Offer to bring everyone coffee from the place they all like. Add a little powdered laxative. Do the same thing again next week but with more laxative. Gradually up the dosage until everyone has the mega doodoo blastoff and accuses the coffee shop of doing food poisoning on them.
Put low batteries in the smoke detector so it constantly beeps. When someone changes them, put another low set back in the next day.
Apply the “when vestmoria is offscreen, other characters should be talking about vestmoria” principle to meetings and presentations.
Always keep a web browser window open to some gun manufacturers website. When someone walks up, alt-tab it to the top then alt tab it away at the last minute.
If you’re not doing it already, butt into conversations and start mansplaining to everyone about the thing they’re talking about. Bonus points if you’re a woman.
This is the worst advice possible haha you'll end up getting arrested.
Buy an old carbureted v8 sports car or pickup truck. Get to work early every day so you can leave early as well. When it’s time to go, start revving the engine “so it’ll warm up and even out” in the parking lot right next to the office.
I was with you until the gun thing
What is actually wrong with you?
When people talk about the news in gaza around the watercooler, always defend israels actions and bait people into accidentally saying things that you can accuse them of being an antisemite for.