Asklemmy

42502 readers

1618 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

116

is telling your employer you may leave if passive aggressive coworkers don't stop gossiping about you behind your back and gaslighting you a good idea? (linux.community)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

39 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I always thought of it like this: if a workplace makes you feel devalued or is toxic (gaslighting and ranting about you behind your back), you quietly find new pastures.

Now, however, I think this is the wrong approach: why do I have to accept they bully me? I should defend myself. And doesn't the manager have to make sure a workplace ain't toxic? Instead of quietly looking for a new job next time this happens, wouldn't it be better to confront, document and escalate instead of letting it go? even if HR only exists to protect the company and not me.

If HR and manager do nothing to address the problem, wouldn't it be a better strategy to start working the least possible and let the company fire me, while looking for another job?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] slazer2au 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

If you have problems with your team members you should being it up with your manager. But don't just tell them the problem and expect them to come up with a solution.

Documentation on when events happen and how you believe a change in attitude will make the org a better place to work will get a far more favourable response.

Now if you talk with your manager and nothing changes, then look for a new job and on your HR exit interview explicitly say why you are leaving.

[–] QuarterSwede 5 points 4 months ago

They need to find a witness. Otherwise it’s a he said, she said issue that can’t be confirmed as harassment.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

HR takes a different tact when a person starts to sight harassment from contemporaneous notes.