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is telling your employer you may leave if passive aggressive coworkers don't stop gossiping about you behind your back and gaslighting you a good idea? (linux.community)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

39 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I always thought of it like this: if a workplace makes you feel devalued or is toxic (gaslighting and ranting about you behind your back), you quietly find new pastures.

Now, however, I think this is the wrong approach: why do I have to accept they bully me? I should defend myself. And doesn't the manager have to make sure a workplace ain't toxic? Instead of quietly looking for a new job next time this happens, wouldn't it be better to confront, document and escalate instead of letting it go? even if HR only exists to protect the company and not me.

If HR and manager do nothing to address the problem, wouldn't it be a better strategy to start working the least possible and let the company fire me, while looking for another job?

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[–] slazer2au 14 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If you have problems with your team members you should being it up with your manager. But don't just tell them the problem and expect them to come up with a solution.

Documentation on when events happen and how you believe a change in attitude will make the org a better place to work will get a far more favourable response.

Now if you talk with your manager and nothing changes, then look for a new job and on your HR exit interview explicitly say why you are leaving.

[–] QuarterSwede 5 points 9 months ago

They need to find a witness. Otherwise it’s a he said, she said issue that can’t be confirmed as harassment.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

HR takes a different tact when a person starts to sight harassment from contemporaneous notes.