this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
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That’s a really poor suggestion.
The guillotine was invented as a fast, efficient, humane method of execution. It was meant to take the human factor out of it for a clean, repeatable result.
The device you want is called a wood chipper.
I feel like the guillotine is meant as a symbol. I am also not gonna cannibalize these fucks, but I will tell you to eat them still.
That's not very carbon neutral...
Could hand-crank it.
Well that just sounds like too much work.
Solar powered?
I don't know I like the idea of a union gig job of cranking the handle on the wood chipper and going on mandatory lunch break halfway through one of these CEOs
They do in fact make electric wood chippers!
A particularly slow and unsharpened one, though.
Feet first.
And doused in pure capsaicin.
And after having had a branch of that tree that makes you want to kill yourself rectally inserted.
The question is, where do we point the wood chipper?