I'm trans, came out just a couple of months ago. I don't post about this on Lemmy very often (if at all), but it's been a struggle. My dysphoria - in a nutshell, the incongruency between what I see in the mirror and what I want to look like as a woman - has had a profound effect on me. I'm pushing fifty, and I can honestly say transitioning is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do.
I have good days and bad days. Today is a good day, but on the bad ones I feel as though I look like Quark in the DS9 episode "Profit and Lace." I'll tell myself all kinds of awful, self-hating transphobic things like "you're just a man in a dress" or "ugh what is that thing" or "freak" or "you'll never be a real woman." What a repulsive thing to say to yourself, how terribly unkind. I have specific issues with my facial hair, which are being addressed, but things like that take time. It's like I'm fighting a battle against my own body, something I think most people can't easily relate to. It's hard to be patient while living in this (emotionally) painful in-between state, not knowing if I'll ever be happy with myself. If it weren't for my incredibly supportive wife, I'm not sure where I'd be right now.
Yeah, today is a good day. For now, at least. I feel safe and comfortable posting this here, you guys have always been a supportive and accepting community and I'd like to say thank you for that. Maybe I should start posting in the blahaj instance rather than bombarding you guys with this. Anyway, I'm gonna sign off for a while, I got my hands full at work today and gotta focus. Thanks for letting me vent.
Thank you gregorum. I hear you, we're not quite there yet. Yes, we're still waaay off the mark when it comes to acceptance and tolerance and just plain treating others who are different with a bit of decency; in a lot of ways, it feels like we've gone backwards lately. I've often said that as a whole, humanity is gonna have to grow the fuck up if it's ever going to reach the stars and try to live in sort of utopian world. I have hope, but man, it is gonna be a tough one to pull off.
Yeah, we have some challenges ahead. That's why it's so important to hold on to those ideals. Omg I am so high. ❤️ Thank you so much for your kind words.
We as a society may be far from the mark, but you can always come here for love and support. Anytime, you need kind words, you know where to go. And we will always be here for you. ❤️🏳️🌈🖖🏻