Asklemmy

Nothing much. Disillusioned with the world itself. Disappointed that the place I was born in matters a lot.

• I hate that my teen years went to shit studying and rote-learning. No dating, no hanging out, no friends, nothing. Now I kinda want to go back to the "springtime of youth".

• I've experienced a lifestyle of "gamble economics", if that makes sense. Gamble your saving for a business, if it fails, you're fucked, if it works, you earn little - that's how my dad used to earn and also lose most of the time. There is no concept of "saving". Being conditioned into that childhood, I am always paranoid. I can't sleep at night.

• I thought that being an adult would be liberating. It's not. It's horrible. You're an "uncle" to every little kid in your early 20s. You're also a creep, if you act un-adult-ly. By default, there's a lot of assumptions about you. Surviving as an adult isn't easy - there's unspoken rules and skills that you need to have. Social interaction and high tolerance to rejection is one of them.

• Contrary to popular beliefs, no one pities the mentally disadvantaged. You're a "weirdo" and "slow-thinker" in real life, you experience whispers and eyes peering at you, your weird way of walking and slouching is being laughed at. If you show your weakness, you're fucked up.

• Schools are fucking stupid, they don't prepare you for adult life. I don't know how to do taxes, banking or any of that. I'm not even sure how to get assets of my deceased parents, in case of an unforeseen tragedy. Dad has also lent and borrowed soft loan (no interest) to others, there's no legal contract, it's all based on word-of-mouth and trust, and I don't even know I should be asking from, or giving money to.

• I paid a lot for 4 years of degree. Education is expensive, obviously. I thought that getting a degree = automatic job safety. Turns out it was all bullshit. It's a cash-grab scheme.

• Nothing they teach you in university matters, it's all outdated bullshit and niche stuff, you're not going to work on that, tier-1 college students will gain access to them. Real, accessible job is shitty, low-paying, replaceable and repetitive.

• My parents went to a relative gathering for the first time. People kept asking them about jobs, and they blurted that I work at GitHub. He lied, because he was ashamed. I've simply participated in a stupid hackathon by GitHub, that's it. Never got a proper job after graduation. I felt like I was stripped naked and hanging onto a pole, with my limbs tied for everyone to see.

• The recession is so bad, they're demanding that graduates pay their employer for internship. Haha, what a fucking joke, right? Check these stories out (Reddit link btw) 1 2.

• Removing this one for privacy

• Nothing to save, everything to slave. There's too many of us. Being a cog in a machinery is one thing, but being a spare cog made in excess hits different. The machinery demands that I am not needed.