Autism
A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
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Relevant Communities
Autism:
ADHD:
Bipolar:
Mental Health:
Misc:
Neurodivergence:
Social:
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I live with an adult with a similar neurotype. My experience is that the advice in this thread can all help, especially regarding "Is there anything I can do to make this more comfortable for you?" and "This is important because..." stuff. But once the PDA gets really ingrained against something, there's just nothing I can do. I just have to leave her to it and hope she comes around. As an adult, she is capable of making her own decisions...but I have no idea what to do when the person involved is a kid that might not really understand long-term repercussions. I know that the times when her parents really put their foot down ended up extremely exacerbating the PDA and ultimately led to her ability to exercise her autonomy being extremely damaged. But they also weren't...uh...empathetic about it (lots of screaming and shouting), so I don't know if putting their foot down was the problem, the verbal abuse, or both.
Sorry for the mild ramble with no real advice, just saying I commiserate. It's really fucking hard to live with an adult with that neurotype, I can't imagine trying to care for a child. I wish you luck.
I know I have not been fully empathetic at all times either, especially before we got the diagnoses. She got ADHD diagnosed about 2 years ago and autism very recently, so its been a wild ride trying to learn everything and then everything again. The PDA part definitely put a twist to it as they are diagnoses that collide in many ways from what I understand. Thank you
My wife has adhd and autism, both recently diagnosed and a mountain of trauma due to it having been undetected so long. A tendency to burn herself out.
Its hard to be understanding at all time but from what I can see, you‘re already doing better than her parents did by getting your kid diagnosed. I‘d wager a guess that you‘ll arrive at the conclusion that its best for her to not have to do anything really and start taking things in her speed so she can build her own boundaries and personality.
Getting your boundaries crushed by well meaning parents can lead to severe problems with self worth, suicidal ideation and other harsh things.
But I dont have kids (because my wife and I fear exactly that situation while dealing with our own trauma) so I get that you need to make your own decisions. Just supposed to show that you‘re on a positive track and dont need to appraise anyone but your child and yourself I guess.
Good luck.