this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
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Being sexually assaulted. I feel like in terms of things that are top tier awful experiences I would probably rank any unwanted sexual experience worse than pain or death.
I've been manipulated by people. I was of age though and kind of too depressed to care because I live in a shitty small town. My sexual manipulation wasn't as bad as some other stuff people go through though. I've been manipulated hard in a non sexual way. So many kids go through shit some adult literally can't even fathom. It's sick. Even as an adult people don't get it.
I remember an older guy that weighed probably 250 laying on top of me doing stuff and I couldn't move. He shoved poppers in my face. I was so depressed and dead feeling back then I didn't care. I felt like I was in a movie. looking back that person obvious would get me liquored up and have his way. It hurts to know someone would actually act like that in real life. On the other side of things... No regular people in my life gave me a minute. No one cared for me. It's fucked to think that same guy did more for me than regular friends or family. Everyone else would have just sat back and watched me and egg me on to kms. Because everyone else I knew were just naive, entitled, and privileged.
That is terrible to read, I hope you are doing better now though