this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2024
709 points (98.6% liked)

Greentext

4415 readers
1620 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 78 points 9 months ago (3 children)

The Neolithic Era is a totally balanced game with no exploits

[–] [email protected] 56 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ah, welcome back to another video where today we're diving into the most ambitious open-world game ever created, the real world, featuring the starting species Homo sapiens. Now, developers really outdid themselves with this one, creating a game that's perfectly balanced with no exploits whatsoever... or so they thought. You see, Homo sapiens, these peculiar little characters, have stumbled upon an absolutely game-breaking exploit: endurance running. Unlike their in-game counterparts, these lads can run super large distances, outpacing virtually any prey in the long run, literally.

Now, you might be wondering, "How does this translate into an exploit?" Well, sit back as I demonstrate the sheer unbalanced nature of this ability. Our Homo sapiens ancestors used this stamina hack to hunt down creatures that, by all accounts, should have easily outmatched them. But no, through sheer persistence and a bit of clever thinking, they turned their sweaty long-distance jogs into the most effective hunting strategy, revolutionizing the food chain and leveling up humanity.

But here's the twist in the tale, the crème de la crème of human ingenuity. What becomes of this unprecedented endurance exploit? Ah, it leads to the cultural revolution that is the invention of Yorkshire Tea. That’s the real endgame here. Our Homo sapiens didn’t just use their marathon prowess for survival; oh no, they transcended. With all the excess resources and leisure time afforded by their unparalleled hunting strategy, they brewed up civilizations, refined cultures, and yes, perfected the art of tea-making. So, in a world that’s perfectly balanced with no exploits whatsoever, it’s the human spirit of persistence and a penchant for long runs that gave us the ultimate exploit: the creation of Yorkshire Tea. A true testament to how a simple exploit can lead to the pinnacle of culinary excellence and cultural sophistication.

(disclaimer: wrote it, but used GPT4 to tweak the style to fit spiff a bit more)

[–] AngryCommieKender 18 points 9 months ago

Needs a bit in the first paragraph that reads "Now sit back, grab your cup of Yorkshire Tea, and watch as we totally break this perfectly balanced game," etc.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We learned nothing from the infinite mammoth meat hack when the devs banned the whole fucking species.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago

Eventually they'll run out of species to ban

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

*insert 9001 mentions of tea*