this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2024
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I hate explaining ADHD to people because it's a completely unintuitive disorder. It's like "I'm easily distracted" yet at other times I'm completely incapable of tearing my focus away from something. I have continual thoughts of things unrelated to my current focus, and other times I can't think of anything at all, I just can't hold on to any thoughts. I'm fidgety, almost all the time, but I can sit still and drive a car on the freeway for several hours with absolutely no issues.
It's like, for every symptom I have of the disorder there's always a "but sometimes" caveat that is present. It's just a nightmare to try to make someone understand especially when they've never struggled with the disorder or anything like it. It's a complete conundrum.
I have no problem staying committed to a task when my life depends on it. For all other cases meh.
Feel like my forgetting where I put things have any exceptions that aren't average NT on my best days or because I have a system that most of the time works (it's been a while since I've had to search for my wallet and keys because the basket is right at the front door now and immediately getting out of work clothes is a top priority, so removing the usual pocket stuff as I enter happens 95% of the time - the atypical stuff usually gets accidentally left in the pockets and remembering to lock the door on my way in is still RNG).
It's not that you don't have attention, what your lacking is the control over your attention. This means that you have a harder time directing your attention to what is "necessary".
The result of this might be not being able to focus your attention on something, but it can show also as not being able to shift the attention away from something.
It's actually not two different sides but rather the same.
I would say for me it's that most aspects of life lack necessity and so are hard to find engaging.
I like to describe a normal persons focus as a laser, it has a good balance between being able to aim and its power
Meanwhile adhd is an extremly high power Death Star laser, however you cannot aim it at all for better or for worse
And the "but sometimes" thing is the polar opposite
Totally it's like when you're a kid and you say "I'm not hungry" and then someone brings out a cake and you're like "well obviously that doesn't count for cake" but it's 100 PERCENT TRUE