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What's a good and non patronising way to help my neighbour out (self.asklemmy)

submitted 10 months ago by Noedel to c/[email protected]

42 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My neighbour has a cat called Stevie. Stevie hangs out with us a lot and we look after him when my neighbour is away.

Yesterday we found Stevie very unwell in our garden. We took him to the neighbour and she immediately rushed him to the vet.

She mentioned the vet was 200 dollars which was a big unexpected expense for her. Her son's birthday is on Monday and she won't be able to do anything for his birthday now.

My wife and I are fortunate enough for 200 dollars to not be a lot of money for us and we want to help, but I'm unsure how.

One option would be that we leave her a little card with 100 dollars and write that we wanted to help because we care about Stevie too.

Another idea is we ask her to do some gardening for us (that's her job, and we're too busy to do it ourselves right now).

I don't want her to feel patronised or awkward about any of this... Happy to take insights.

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[+] [email protected] -30 points 10 months ago (4 children)

You did a thing, didn’t consider all of the consequences, and are now worried about saving face? You said yourself $200 isn’t a big deal for you. Just give her the money, Christ.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

OP did nothing wrong, and is not asking how to save face for themself, but how best to preserve the dignity of their neighbor while still giving them money. Learn to read.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

You did a thing, didn't consider all of the consequences

What thing did OP do? Maybe you mean OP made the cat sick? I don't think that's the case, they just found the cat and it was sick.

[–] eskimofry 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If it was anybody else they probably would have. Since it's their hardworking neighbor who doesn't beg for money; they are worried (and rightfully) if offering money would hurt somebody's pride.

But as you argued.. It's the right thing to do though, and I urge OP to do it.

[–] Noedel 2 points 10 months ago

I've not done anything yet. I'm asking for advice about how to help my neighbour in a respectful way.