this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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Autism

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submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by wellee to c/autism
 

What is the difference between a complaint and a statement? If theres anyone with a better set of social skills here to help a dude out lol

Ie when you're chilling watching TV and somebody asks you to go out, but you respond with no thanks, I'm tired. Would stating you're tired be considered a complaint?

Just had a similar action with an NT friend, who says I complain about being tired a lot. When I look back and I never bring it up unprompted, and they comment on my mood so i tell them whats up.. is there some social thing which simply stating you feel negative is seen as a complaint?

Edit: thanks so much for all the comments! I should have been more specific, the examples I gave were not my actual experiences. In fact if I were to be more specific, it's my roommate that made me think about this, and they never want to go out lol. But I can still gain some insight from the comments! But it was much more generalized. Actual interaction: we are going about our day and my roommate casually asks "hey how are ya" and I respond "a bit tired!" And they remark on how I complain about being tired a lot. Which surprised me because I was answering their question, and not getting long winded into it. Then it dawned on me maybe simply stating I feel negative is seen as a complaint by people. Iunno.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Your roommate was probably just exchanging pleasantries, and the appropriate response would be a short, positive answer and an ask in return. Personally I think it's dumb to ask how people are if you don't want an honest answer, but it's just one of those things neurotypicals say when they mean another. If it makes you uncomfortable to say you're good when you're not, you could just ignore the 'how are you' part and respond something like "hey man, how's it going?" or "good to see you; how are you doing?"