this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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difference between a statement and a complaint? (self.autism)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by wellee to c/autism
19 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

What is the difference between a complaint and a statement? If theres anyone with a better set of social skills here to help a dude out lol

Ie when you're chilling watching TV and somebody asks you to go out, but you respond with no thanks, I'm tired. Would stating you're tired be considered a complaint?

Just had a similar action with an NT friend, who says I complain about being tired a lot. When I look back and I never bring it up unprompted, and they comment on my mood so i tell them whats up.. is there some social thing which simply stating you feel negative is seen as a complaint?

Edit: thanks so much for all the comments! I should have been more specific, the examples I gave were not my actual experiences. In fact if I were to be more specific, it's my roommate that made me think about this, and they never want to go out lol. But I can still gain some insight from the comments! But it was much more generalized. Actual interaction: we are going about our day and my roommate casually asks "hey how are ya" and I respond "a bit tired!" And they remark on how I complain about being tired a lot. Which surprised me because I was answering their question, and not getting long winded into it. Then it dawned on me maybe simply stating I feel negative is seen as a complaint by people. Iunno.

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[–] surewhynotlem 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A complaint is just a statement of something being wrong. It sounds like your friend might be concerned with your health. Being tired all the time isn't good.

But also, are you tired? Or are you avoiding socialization because it's too difficult? Or some other thing? Being honest with them and yourself about the real reason you don't want to go can help.

[–] wellee 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Mmm, I am actually tired 24/7. Yes, definitely need to figure that out. But I understand enough that a casual "hey how are ya" isn't actually asking about my day, but a passing greeting. So I try to respond accordingly, but with a dash of truth because I hate lying. APPARENTLY my assessment isn't good enough because a negative response isn't correct//its complaining. Whoops. Added to my notebook lol. Thanks :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I find that a good set of responses to the greeting question are approximately this: Good/Great - When that's truthfully how well the day is going OK/Alright - When things aren't good but aren't distinctly bad Not Great/Could be better - When it feels like everything is going wrong

Not dishonest to the best of my perception just stripped of context that could be seen as complaints. If they ask for clarification on 'not great' then feel free to complain.

[–] surewhynotlem 2 points 10 months ago

I don't see complaining as a negative. Though that might be a problem of mine? But it IS complaining, so if someone hates people being honest but negative, I can see that being an issue.

But I complain all the time. I find it a great way to bond with some people.