this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
74 points (97.4% liked)
Dads Only
1205 readers
1 users here now
This is a Lemmy group for Dads Only. A place for Dads to post about their lives, wives & kids. All are welcome but you must respect the rules.
What are the rules here?
No pornography. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, or casteism No incitement of violence or promotion of violent ideologies No harassment, dogpiling or doxxing of other users No content illegal in the United States, Germany, or Finland Do not share intentionally false or misleading information Do not spam or abuse network features.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
You may have ideas in mind about what kind of person they'll be, in terms of interests, personality, etc. This can be really strong because it may come from deep subconscious wants, and you may not even realize it, but it'll come out in your behavior. Nudging toward this activity, away from this one - that kind of thing. Be really careful with this - your kid will tell you who they are, and it can be super damaging if you don't listen.
You can shape values, and you can show them your enthusiasm for what you think is cool, but stop short of trying to shape what they like and who they are. Accept and get excited about the things they're into and they'll always want to share with you and keep you involved as they get older. Enthusiasm and passion are so much more important and useful in life than liking this thing over that thing, but it can be hard to let go of your implicit ideas about their future personality.
We very much expected kind of a tomboy-ish, or at least mixed interest girl. Rough and tumble, daredevil, etc. Not at all - she is the most classically feminine, pink-loving, only-interested-in-dolls little kid you can imagine.