this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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Autism
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I read your whole comment, and while I am too tired to reply to it point by point...
Thank you.
Even if its just text on a screen... it is very helpful and reassuring.
I have never been in the military, but I have always been fascinated by the strategy and tech, and I was actually quite the avid beta tester and gameplay idea thrower-outer for Project Reality, the BF2 mod which has since evolved into Squad...
... So I know what you mean when you say chin up, and shoulders down.
Carry myself with a bit of pride and dignity, as I have survived this all so far... and I actually, unfortunately know that many of the people I met along the way, on the streets... I know many of them are already dead. Morbid as that is... I am still here. My sanity and my body are mostly intact, and as you say, dont do anything rash now that I am at least for now in a relatively safe place, perfect time to rest, recover, and come up with a longer term plan. Body and mind will heal in time, and I've got at least the outline if a plan for my future, and enough of a brain to fill in the details in due time.
Thank you again for being understanding and supportive.
PS
Though this is now ancient by youtube and quality standards...
In this video and its sequel on the same channel, I am the subject of the camera and the test pilot. DBZao the main Project Reality coder had come up with an entirely new helicopter flight model for PR 0.5. Myself and the camerman/narrorator happened to both be in Teamspeak when he uploaded the new test build and told us to make a promo video for it.
My shit tier DSL connection and piece of shit eMachine could barely run the game and teamspeak together at 30 fps, so I couldnt fraps record at the same time haha.
So I guess I am actually sort of one of the oldest machinima actors, technically. The channel owner here recorded himself talking via teamspeak and fraps, and I just ad libbed motions to the player model in real time, no script, no dry runs, we did it live lol.
https://vid.puffyan.us/watch?v=-XuV0a9xZoo
https://vid.puffyan.us/watch?v=pdMGMzLpzLI
If you watch through to the end of part two, youll see us driving a VBIED truck into a glitchy fence and rocketing into the air. And you will hear me laugh.
And I can still laugh just like that, 16 years later. Maybe a bit lower octave... but I can still laugh, even after all this.
Thank you again, truly.
🥹
You're welcome 🙂