this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Yeah I guess I'll have to see how comfortable I am in the situation. I feel like the stupid system will never change unless people just stop tipping.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I don't see how the system would change unless people stop tipping, but as a foreigner I don't see it as my responsibility to change their system.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

If you are clearly not American you will be either forgiven and assumed you don't know or have it preached at you like you're a child.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And that'll only hurt the poor employee's efforts to pay rent this month. The employer could care less, and sure you may make them mad enough that you're the last straw and they quit, but I'd be hard pressed to think you're magnanimous for it.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Well then, please don't visit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

As long as you know your supposed "goal" of "helping" isn't accomplished and that server now hates you, and the owner you're opposing got his share and doesn't even know you exist, do what you wish I suppose.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The simple rule of thumb is: if you are in a full service sit down restaurant (waiter takes order and then brings you your food, tipping is expected, and not doing so is seen as a major dick move, because it directly stiffs the waitstaff. The only time you should not tip in this situation is if the service is absolutely horrible.

Any other situation, like ordering at a counter and then going to get your food, or any fast food, tipping may be offered as an ask on the kiosk, but it’s never expected (not in my opinion deserved.).

But simply: if you are waited on, too 20% and be done with it.