this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Nobody can force you to. People will probably consider you to be rude, but you do yours. I also live in a place where not tipping is customary (and in fact tipping considered to be rude) and refuse to embrace this system. I'm already annoyed by list prices excluding VAT. That's like a borderline scam.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)

We don't have a VAT in the US, only sales tax. It's not just a name difference, they're different in how they're applied

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Ok whatever it is, the price on display is not the final price, and I feel scammed.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They're not different to the consumer. Either way they're a surcharge to the store price of the item, and most places in the world include it on the sticker.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

I am aware. I was just correcting the one thing not disagreeing as a whole

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Yeah I guess I'll have to see how comfortable I am in the situation. I feel like the stupid system will never change unless people just stop tipping.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

I don't see how the system would change unless people stop tipping, but as a foreigner I don't see it as my responsibility to change their system.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

If you are clearly not American you will be either forgiven and assumed you don't know or have it preached at you like you're a child.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And that'll only hurt the poor employee's efforts to pay rent this month. The employer could care less, and sure you may make them mad enough that you're the last straw and they quit, but I'd be hard pressed to think you're magnanimous for it.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

Well then, please don't visit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

As long as you know your supposed "goal" of "helping" isn't accomplished and that server now hates you, and the owner you're opposing got his share and doesn't even know you exist, do what you wish I suppose.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

The simple rule of thumb is: if you are in a full service sit down restaurant (waiter takes order and then brings you your food, tipping is expected, and not doing so is seen as a major dick move, because it directly stiffs the waitstaff. The only time you should not tip in this situation is if the service is absolutely horrible.

Any other situation, like ordering at a counter and then going to get your food, or any fast food, tipping may be offered as an ask on the kiosk, but it’s never expected (not in my opinion deserved.).

But simply: if you are waited on, too 20% and be done with it.