this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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Autism

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I've been trying that maintain eye contact thing, how to they do that? Doesn't't the constant screaming in their heads hurt them?

[–] SoleInvictus 29 points 11 months ago (2 children)

You've probably heard this already but, in case you haven't, try watching their eyebrows or right above them instead. It's a lot less awkward for some people for reasons I don't completely understand.

Remember to look away for a moment every ten seconds or so unless you're trying to seduce or intimidate them! It becomes a routine after awhile. Also, humans are really weird.

[–] Tolos 4 points 11 months ago

Omg, never heard that before, thank you.

[–] Gustephan 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I do 5 on, 2 off for eye contact timing. It seems to work pretty well in terms of passing as nt and focusing on the task of timing it reduces the discomfort of eye contact in the first place for me

[–] Sanyanov 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

As an allistic person, I don't get any screams in my head when I make eye contact and may not understand what you're referring to. Intense awkwardness?

Prolomged eye contacts may make some allistic people feel awkward, but generally it's a positive experience of nonverbal communication.

[–] SoleInvictus 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Are you saying making eye contact while talking makes you feel good?

[–] SneakyWeasel 4 points 11 months ago

From another autistic person, it really varies from person to person. I despise staring intensely at strangers, but when it comes to my partner, I adore it. It probably has to do more with the level of trust than inherently not being able to look at someone in the eyes, but it might just be a me thing.

[–] Sanyanov 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes, for as long as it's not an angry or otherwise negative look.

[–] SoleInvictus 4 points 11 months ago

That is wild! I'm eye contact neutral - it doesn't affect me at all, save with my partner where it IS enjoyable, so I had to learn not to stare people down. I never imagined people enjoyed it with other people! Thanks for blowing my mind.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 11 months ago

I think maybe they don't have the screaming <.< NTs are weird.