this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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I'm in more or less the opposite scenario. I used to be able to actually do shit, then something snapped and it's far more difficult for me to do anything efficiently. I think what snapped was effectively my self confidence. After a period of existential crisis, things stopped feeling so important all of a sudden. So the herculean effort that allowed me to complete all my work and keep up on everything stopped being possible, because it briefly became impossible leading me to recognize how unsustainable that was.
Now I'm in a position where I still try to get what I need to done, but I try not to stress about it so much and I prefer to do what I want. And making myself do what I need to do is partially a matter of medication (Vyvanse) and partially trying to find reasons to enjoy/prefer the tasks that are important for my survival, then capitalizing on that intrigue/excitement.
Basically, I guess it comes down to choosing to accept whatever our current reality is and trying to work from there. There are reasons that I'm fortunate, just as there are reasons others would probably say I'm falling behind in life. Doesn't really matter in the end. All any of us can do is what we can actually do. If we don't allow that to be enough, we'll drive ourselves insane with the dissonance.