Asklemmy

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What secret do you know that could ruin someone else's life? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Ragdoll_X to c/[email protected]

84 comments fedilink hide all child comments

~~Probably a boring answer but~~ I know my grandmother's credit card information. I live with and help take care of her, so she doesn't mind sharing it with me. Not like I'm planning to do anything nefarious, but I guess technically it could ruin her financially.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah I can see how this is complicated.

I don't see why you don't share that you got the job offer and then tell your kids that you'll have to work out custody arrangements with their mother. And then share with the kids how those discussions go. I think they're old enough (as teens) to have a say in those discussions, as well as be privy to how they go.

There's no reason they shouldn't see it unfold in front of them; just make sure that you're never the one to specifically say "your mother won't work anything out with me so moving overseas with me would mean I never see you again"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This is a passive aggressive and shitty thing to do.

Not wanting your kids to be moved overseas and only see them half the year is a normal reaction. Most teenagers are mature enough to see through the veil that mom is the reason they can't go but not mature enough to truly understand why. They'd blame her regardless.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Yes, this advice about “just don’t be the one to say …” is 100% about covering OP’s own ass and not at all about it being the right thing to do.

Slimy.

[–] beetus 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

only see them half the year is a normal reaction

Being pedantic here, but most custody arrangements are like this anyway.

Obviously, half the parents being overseas makes that significantly harder and probably untenable for most.

[–] Zippy 1 points 1 year ago

There's two. Take one. People do it with dogs all the time.