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The Daily Checkin for Saturday November 4th - Just For Today, We Are NOT Drinking!
(self.stopdrinking)
this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
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Stop Drinking
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This is a place to motivate each other to control or stop drinking. It is also a place for non drinkers to discuss and share.
We welcome anyone who wishes to join in by asking for advice, sharing our experiences and stories, or just encouraging someone who is trying to quit or cut down.
Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile.
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10 years sober here and going strong. You can do this!
That is wonderful!!
If you don't mind my asking, what was your biggest learning from 10 years of sobriety? Any tips?
I'm not them, my last drink was two years ago and one thing i've learned is that weather i have 2 days, 2 years, or 10 years I'm always going to have to not drink right now. It really helps me to just check in with myself when i'm feeling overwhelmed about sobriety and thing "well, am I drinking right now? no... so right now i'm winning and that's what matters. It's all that will ever matter."
I'm approaching one year, and this rings true. What I'm really curious about is how one's identity changes after 2 years, 5 years or 10 - or if it doesn't. I don't get cravings or anxiety about alcohol anymore, but these weird feelings about my identity as a non-drinker, and how people who've known me for a long time perceive the change. Not really in a negative way, it's just that I'd always been a big drinker ever since I've been an adult, and I'm trying to figure out who I am now that drinking is no longer on the table.
I totally know what you mean! I talked about this too and it was like no one understood me, I had a therapist who even looked at me funny when i said it.... My identity was so tied up in drinking and alcohol. I was a bartender, worked in a wine shop... the clothes i picked, the jokes i made... so much of who i was was tied up in alcohol. I had to create a new identity. The good news is i realized that old identity was just made up, so i could make up a new one. The bad news is making up a new identity comes with a lot of trial and error. I had no identity, as a child my identity was only allowed to be what my parents approved of. Alcohol allowed me to create one they didn't approve of and not care how they felt about it. My task in creating a sober identity was to learn to what i love and not care about how the world felt about me doing that... it was hard, i felt dumb a lot, but it was worth it..... the new me gardens a lot, meditates, drinks tea, plays the piano, the violin, the mandolin and the guitar. He reads a lot of books, goes on hikes once or twice a week, lifts weights, does yoga, where's really funny clothing and doesn't drink no matter what.
That sounds like an amazing transformation, congratulations! I'm still figuring out who the new "Me" is in sobriety, which along with other big life changes is a scary, new prospect. It feels like I have to reinvent myself to some extent in my 40s, which feels hard, but hopefully is a rewarding process.
It’s all the simple stuff you hear. Let go let god. Keep coming back. Also, if it’s not in the big book it’s someone’s opinion.
Thanks!