childfree

2072 readers

3 users here now

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Resources to help me make the child or childfree decision (self.childfree)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by eccentric to c/childfree

29 comments fedilink hide all child comments

What helped you make the decision to be child-free? How do I be sure about what I want? Looking for recommendation - resources, articles, books etc.

My partner just let me know he would be ready to start trying in a year. My head just spun. I am not ready now at 31 (as a woman and my clock is going tick-tock) and I don't think I will ever be ready. I am neither excited about the process of birthing nor does a crying pooping tantrum-throwing machine excite me!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] ChexMax 13 points 1 year ago

My mom's advice has helped me a lot in my decision. She's a mother of 5, definitely wanted to be a mother and is very fulfilled by it. Parenting was her great joy, and she was/is great at it.

You and your husband should both be about 80% sure you want kids. Any less and it verges on not worth it. Kids take everything you have. If you want them, you are so happy to give them everything. If you want kids 100% (no fear or hesitation about being ready) than you're underestimating how important and difficult a decision it is. A good parent does hesitate and consider if they're ready!

I am 7 months pregnant and I was also terrified to give birth! I'm coming around now, and feeling more ready. At some point, it's easier to go through 1-2 days of pain and just get them out. Honestly I recommend not researching it too in depth until after you make your decision, because it's like the smallest part of the process. Pregnancy is like a year, birth is one day, and then they're your kid forever.