this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
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Strong disagree on people not changing, my partners brother was a heavy alcoholic at 30 and he's now 5 years sober and has children and hasn't touched a drop. He relapsed in his first week and nearly died.
People can change, they just have to want to. Of course this isn't applicable to all but generalising your situation to everyone isn't helpful to people in these positions.
On the flip side so show that I understand people not changing, her uncle has currently lost his family and maybe soon his job. Every time the kids are due to be with him he's completely shitfaced and the adult dropping them off refuses to give them to him in that condition and that still isn't enough for him to want to change. I bet he has seen his own children for over a year. He is constantly lying and we think he owes money to people because he's usually in a bit of a roughed up state. It's sad but until he wants it there's nothing anyone can do.
Her brother is still a testament to the way people can better themselves though.
Thank you for this, I know she can get through this and come out okay on the other side. I hope she doesn't have to almost die for that to happen though
I'm not willing to take that chance again. Got burned once, not willing to try it again.
And I was speaking from my own experience, as everyone else does (yourself included).
That's fair, I'm sorry that you've been through what you have, but you made a heavy generalisation that people don't change, my experience is that they can and do.
In general, they don't... especially not at that age (25+). The ones you mentioned are rare cases, maybe like 5% of the population (dropig numbers, haven't seen any research papers on the subject)... at least from what I've seen so far in life.
You're probably young and optimistic, I get that, I was as well. But, when you see how things around you develop (in what direction), you start to realize that people have certain character traits that makes them who they are, regardless if they are good or bad. It's just who they are ๐คท. Sure, they do change, but then they relapse and then there is that vicious circle of up and down, which I hate to be honest.
I'm not that young and optimistic tbh, it sounds like you've just been dealt a tough hand in life and hope you can get through it one day. Truly.