Tech Support Memes

"In between the 10 half hour virtual meetings each day that only serve to take up time and give you more tasks, we would like you to complete 12 hours of work, in the idealistic sense of 8 hours, since that's your normal working hours, while we also give you more tasks, and ping you for additional requests in your remaining 3 hours that are aside of your 5 hours of meetings. If you need anything at all, just escalate the issue and we will make sure to ignore you, as we are also bogged down by the same system. It's perfectly ok to stop what you're doing entirely if you aren't sure that you're completing it correctly, so just escalate it and we will make sure to give you an answer at some point this year. Just make sure you have it all done by the time table we have laid out, and make sure to take your lunch break! By the way, if anyone needs the overtime, we need 6 more people to gargle shit covered balls at 5:00 am Christmas morning. There's too much shit on too many balls for any of us managers to step up and gargle. Our kids are sick with ear infections and our Tesla's have doctors appointments so it's not possible that we can make it to the shit ball gargling decathlon. If you have any questions be sure to ask a non-superior so that we don't have to dock your pay increase. Have a wonderful shit covered ballsack gargling day!"