this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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Confirm. Had to help a friend of mine rebuild her documentation from scratch because her mom, who is nuts, destroyed her birth certificate, social security paperwork, driver's license, and all other documentation apparently out of spite.
It turns out, it's very difficult to get a replacement birth certificate without the involvement of your sole remaining parent when said parent is dead set on being uncooperative. If you don't have a government photo ID, getting the other documents is impossible. And if you don't have the other documents, getting the photo ID is impossible. Chicken and the egg!
I know we have a non-profit where I live that specifically helps people with that. Usually, it's homeless people who just don't have any of their documentation anymore, but I recommended them to someone whose parent was similarly awful. I don't even know where you'd start.
It varies a bit by state. We wound up asking an attorney, and they were able to direct us towards where to get the correct forms and paperwork. We had to get signed and notarized affidavits from other surviving family members to attest that she was who she said she was, etc. It took ages, and tons of running around all over the place to this office, that office, this government building, that government building, all over the damn state.
You are an amazing person and friend for helping and supporting them through that. I hope your friend is doing well!