Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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I'm not sure self-hosted is what you need, perhaps just a FOSS app for your two phones?
Alternatively Home Assistant should be able to push alarms to your phones.
This is the docs you need https://companion.home-assistant.io/docs/notifications/critical-notifications/
I might have to have a look into that, could be a great way to get the wife to do things
Hey, this is definitely getting really close. However, I think for this to work our phones would need to be connected to my Wireguard all the time, right?
If you don't expose to the internet at large, yes you would need a VPN.
I don't see contraindications about that, I have 2 Wireguard VPNs (to my VPS and to my home) on all the time and I haven't noticed any extra battery draining.
it should not as it only 'runs' when pakets are sent through it, but it also should not be much more 'expensive' than normal network pakages. that is the best part about wireguard!