this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
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If someone doesn't follow my advice, I don't actually care. It was cool that you called asking for it to begin with. It's very arrogant of someone to get upset that another person didn't take their advice. You can't possibly know all of the underlying factors. If someone calls asking for my insight, it's kind of an honor that they trust me that much.
I'm also the oldest of five so I field a few calls from my youngest two siblings (who are fresh new adults, 9 and 12 years younger than me) asking what to do. It's pretty cool watching the little stinkers figure shit out.
Where it can be frustrating is when you get pressed for advice or an opinion after first saying you don't have an opinion or trying not to commit to something knowing the person won't like your opinion.
If I get pressed to give an answer then I'm going to sit and figure out what seems to me to be the best way to do things. That takes consideration and time, it takes energy, which I'm happy to give if I'm taken seriously. When people take what I say, and then say "ok I'm still going to do it this other way" with no rationale, then essentially they just insisted that I waste my time. Why do that? Just don't ask me then, or take me at face value when I say I don't know or don't have an opinion.
I'm an introvert, interactions take a lot of energy. It's so draining to be forced to consider something then be ignored. I don't think I'm being arrogant, I just don't want someone to intentionally waste my time and treat me like my opinion doesn't matter after making me go out of my way to figure out their issue and come up with a solution.