this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2023
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Maaan! I got a rant. :-)
Sometimes i feel so out of place, like seeing the greater picture, and seeing some structural error in stuff i have to cope with. And naturally, my mind will come up with ways to do all that better. But of course, i'm not in a position of power to change things, and everyone's voice wants to be equally important, and although i would have a plan ready there's no way to just make it happen without others having understood and validate it, and there may even not be an environment that would facilitate real constructive discussion.

So often i'm seeing myself as fighting collective idiocy. It's draining.

My current example (but it's just the thing which has currently captured me)
Edited this away because i feel too exposed. It's not important what example i would bring. I think fellow fractal ND minds know what i'm talking about.

.
... And that while i know a lot about how the collective mind-field works. I know how to work in that, actually. If the people are tuned in, then i do not actually need to persuade anyone but i can do some magic and place an imprint in "the field". Others would be a bit more slow in picking that up but i'd just need to be patient and in the end they would have done it the way i had known it all along. -- It's just that people are not usually connected and they probably never learned how to make an environment that would facilitate such a connection and harmonic tuning.

I should probably just get out of here, try to meditate, let it all go, and try to meet real people.

tl;dnr: Awareness can be haunting. In Process Work, it's about "owning one's rank". Which needs the right environment.

How do you cope with knowing better but not being able to communicate it so that your being-there-knowing-it would actually make sense?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is a test. Somehow the system won't let me answer the other comment. Perhaps a sign by the Universe? OK let me do it this way:

@[email protected] Thank you for your kind answer.

Perhaps i should re-phrase my post to explain how my mind works. Posting in a neurodivergent forum, i took it for granted that this would be understood or clarification would be asked. I took an example which prompted someone from "outside" to jump on it and comment specifically on the example i gave, and on the fact that i implicitly was honest with it, that i don't know all the technical details (and i notice your comment history is empty, so be aware that you are talking to people who might function differently). Since, i have deleted that part. I could have taken any other example that is perhaps more easily understood and which would not distract so much from the actual topic.

My mind works in seeing patterns and emergent behaviour. One talent that i have, and that i'm really training for the work i'm doing, is to look deep past those patterns in order to uncover the essence of it. So, instead of putting a patch of paint over a disharmony in an emerging pattern (let's call it that because i'm not necessarily speaking of illnesses or errors), i'd come up with the underlying reason why such a disharmony might have come to be in the first place. And i may also come up with a way to take the problem by the root (yes that is radical). Don't know what language would fit you, but perhaps you could see me as a shaman, or as a philosopher, or a process architect. As such, i see the essentials of patterns from a bird perspective, so to say. It's even beneficial to the task to not indulge in all the detail of the pattern itself.
It does not mean that i think i'm always correct or that i know everything (mind the difference to "know better"). I know very well how personal experience is tainting our filters of perception. Especially ND people are often very open with the truth that they naturally do not know everything. -- And exactly that kind of honesty is all too often being taken as an incentive for dismissal.

In retrostpect, i can find it quite ironic how the first commenter actually helped make my point. They accused my of "sidelining"^[1]^ while they were shouting in from the "all" feed, and in a reasonably neurotypical way, taking my (neurodivergent? idk) openness as a point at which to anchor an attack, rather than seeing it as a virtue which could give them the idea to look/ask deeper into the actual subject.^[2]^ Instead they are making the impression (to me) that out of the fact that i was posting this to a ND community they were assuming that i would be somehow unreasonable and that i would not have an understanding of the technicalities in my example, and therefore they could be harshly invalidating it all, including my actual point. I'll leave it to the reader to give that pattern a name.

To answer the rest of your comment: I'm doing all that! With the case of the (now seeming silly) developer example, i do not actually want to get back into programming (have long ago said goodbye to working so much with machines, and slowly i seem to be turning against the machine). So i did leave my analysis and suggestions and hints at certain future development, at several places for others to pick up. I just find that the appropriate structures (technical as well as social) for an organic human interaction seem to be missing, and that can go so far as to foster toxicity (another such pattern, which has an essence in human collective behaviour). That means: no reaction, no feedback, no siding with a reasonable (or not) injection. Just zero immediate effect ... but i see others blowing the whistle as well. --
That is -- online, mostly. Because interestingly, when people get together physically then it's much more likely that social structures emerge which allow for a much more satisfying experience of constructiveness (i'd infer that it's part of human tribal nature, although it doesn't necessarily happen by itself). I'd have much less of a problem within an eye-to-eye physical community of people, where listening and understanding is just a reasonable first-of, and because the people know each other, asking for and acting on advice would be just a matter of course.^[3]^ -- So again, patterns emerge which reflect some structural and perhaps essential deficits.


[1] ... which i actually didn't do but everyone in a community can take their task, and being a technical infrastructure specialist is one such task, being a seer is another.
[2] The speed in which this happened was astonishong, that made me even think of the possibility that the answer was partially computer generated.
[3] "Real-life" example related to the developer example (but please again, it's just a badly picked example not the main topic of my frustration): I have a friend here who is more into networking tech than i ever was, to whom i explained the principal architecture of LemmyNet, and (just the same as a number of strangers who i came across in the forums, who for whatever reason do not want to take part in developer discussions), he was very quickly to arrive at, "that's not the way it's going to work!" -- and having recognised that, we could actually have an interesting talk about network discovery, distributed storage, etc. -- Such happens only when the necessary social structures and trust are established.