ADHD

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How to plan something with someone who doesn't have ADHD? (self.adhd)

submitted 1 year ago by Relic5646 to c/adhd

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I have ADHD and my partner does not. When we were planning our wedding it was really difficult because she would do most of the planning (because I wasn't doing it and someone had to and she loves planning), but when we needed to plan anything together it was like pulling teeth for me. I wanted to help out but it was always so difficult to get myself to actually do anything.

The same thing happens with vacation planning. Even planning a trip to somewhere I want to go can feel about as fun as doing taxes. We're currently trying to plan a trip overseas that's just in a few months, and my partner really wants to book hotels (I totally agree) but any amount of planning feels like I'm being punished, and I don't know why. I don't have any fun and my mood tanks and I just get quiet and a little irritable.

Anyone else experience this and have any suggestions? I hate leaving all of the planning to my partner, but planning on my schedule has lead to us missing things in the past.

Random thoughts, feel free to ignore: I wonder if it's partly because it's not urgent (as in what we could plan today could just as easily be planned tomorrow) vs importance thing? If we planned on "my schedule" we'd be doing things way too close to the actual date. If we set a date to vacation plan, when it comes I just treat it like a todo list item I just need to finish up so I can get back to whatever I want to do instead.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This doesn't sound like an ADHD thing. I have it and my GF doesn't, but I still do all the vacation planning. I like getting the most out of my trip while she just goes with the flow.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

ADHD is not one universal set of symptoms and definitely not one universal set of things that you find easy or hard to do. If you're interested in it, you will do it. If you're not, you won't.