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People who have been through tough timew, how did you keep moving? (lemmy.one)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm a week late on rent due, I only paid half, I had to call all my credit card companies and utilities to tell them what's going on. And now my check engine light turned on because the bastard is misfiring. My wife lost her dad which fucked us both up due to missing a ton of work, and I don't know what to do. I'm tired of asking my family for help, the for bank is only available while I'm working, I work 2 jobs. My wife is working too and we're even took in a person to live in our spare room.

How in the world do people survive in this world when they don't even have time to be happy? I use upside for gas and shopping I'm enrolled in every stores rewards program, I make my own cleaning supplies to save money and cook from scratch. What else could I do to save money? Also with the looming government shutdown I'm going to be furloughed for however long that is. Also what are some apps you guys use to help save money? I guess this is a lot of questions.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I can only advise on the psychological front.

What I do to keep myself moving is whenever I notice that I’m frozen I start saying to myself “Move. Get moving. Keep moving”

Like I literally say it out loud. If I stay frozen it gets worse and worse, and I know that from experience. So I just command myself to keep moving.

I often find myself visualizing Trinity in the opening scene of The Matrix: https://youtu.be/cGeoB8czHo8?si=xlRzFuM7S8TQzDNU

She’s been kicking ass and moving fluidly, then for a moment her task is vigilant stillness. But a part of her recognizes that the still posture has a danger of becoming a freeze response, so she gets herself moving with words.

And if I break down crying, I limit it. I cry for a bit but, slightly before I feel complete about it, I force myself to get moving again. I allow myself short, finite periods of collapse, but I make sure to cut them off before I get too deep.

This is the system that seems to work best for me when I’m in the most hopeless situations.

Edit: I want to add that I’m a single guy who lives alone. These breakdowns aren’t happening with a partner. All my worst moments have been alone. In a group I’d be composing myself as much as I possibly could to help keep the general mood up.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you, and I say something similar. I tell myself to keep moving forward. I'd I stop things will get worse.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/cGeoB8czHo8?si=xlRzFuM7S8TQzDNU

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.