this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023
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I mean there is some credence to that. Because if you go undiagnosed your body and mind will eventually develop coping mechanisms on its own so you can be almost just as functioning as someone without adhd. You'll just have some quirks.
This is what I got told when I got diagnosed at 19. I had no need to become medicated but instead just to be made aware that I'm different for X reasons and these methods could help your coping mechanisms further. For me it was carrying a little notepad with me and writing everything I should remember in that pad. That little pad pretty much got me through college. Then when I eventually got to Uni, I no longer needed the pad to get through it. I could still benefit from it like, but it was no longer a necessity to do so, due to my internal coping mechanisms getting better.
Obviously I know this doesn't always work for everyone, but I still think as a general rule for adhd that it tracks.
You don't learn how to cope with ADHD better if you are undiagnosed than if you are diagnosed. If that was true people wouldn't need to get diagnosed in adulthood because they would've developed the skills already. I need reminders for my reminders, and reminders for when I forget the second reminder and I still fail to do them. And that's not to mention shame and ridicule you receive for "not even putting in effort" when you put in 10x as much effort and still failed. I don't know a single person with ADHD diagnosed as an adult who got anywhere near NT levels of functioning. Actually they're all worse than every person I know with ADHD who was diagnosed as a child. Not knowing why you are struggling doesn't make it easier.
I think you misunderstand me. We get coping mechanisms but understanding them, what they are and why they happen makes a world of difference. Which you get from being diagnosed. But getting better from them isn't always about medication, it can be about developing those natural mechanisms further and supplementing them with other stuff, like my little notepad I mentioned. Exercises like that, that help with memory and focus and whatnot. That's what I was getting at.
But how does going through life undiagnosed and struggling help you develop coping mechanisms better than being diagnosed and knowing why you are struggling?
That's not what I said. I said that going undiagnosed for a certain amount of time you get coping mechanisms. That didn't mean they are 100%. If you kept reading you'll see that I got diagnosed so why would I use my example to say being undiagnosed forever is good?
Definitely didn't work for me, unfortunately.
Yeah, this sounds like what I was told by one doc I asked for an ADHD evaluation from, he told me I couldn't have ADHD because I didn't flunk outta high school (which he said without even checking if that was true). And that if I did have ADHD I would've struggled before adulthood and my parents would've gotten me care. Like oh, you mean the parents that ignored that I had pinkeye for two weeks and then lied to the doctor that it was two days? Or the parents that sent me back to school against surgeons orders? Or the parents who sent me to school knowing I had a fever? Oh, how about the ones that ignored I couldn't bend my knee for an entire week after injuring it until it was gonna affect my grades?
I don't think it works for anyone. Yes, you can work on coping skills without a diagnosis, but it won't make you NT.
Parents are the worst. Even after being diagnosed, mine still deny I have it.
Hope things are going better for you now, friend.
I'm unfortunately still undiagnosed, but I at least have managed to work on some of my other health problems. My spawn points deny that I have migraine because my MRI was clear. Yeah, a clear MRI is a requirement for diagnosis because otherwise I'd have been diagnosed with whatever they'd found instead. Testing for migraine is to rule out other issues that could be causing your symptoms. The extra stupid thing is that they deny I have health problems because "everyone in our family is so healthy". Yeah, apparently autoimmune conditions, diabetes, cancer, meningitis, and birth defects are "healthy". That's literally just my immediate family, not including me.
I do however no longer live with them so their control over my life is very limited. They even tried to forbid me from having a hysterectomy because, to quote my sperm donor, "We want real grandkids" (yes, "real" means bio, not adopted). Yeah, and I like living (no seriously, my doc said it's good I didn't want to be pregnant because she would've had to strongly advise me against it). I just told the staff at the hospital that no one besides my partner was allowed in, and she was already with me so don't let anyone else in.
So yeah, I'm in the pits of depression and still happier than when I lived with them. I've got a wonderful partner, sister, and friends.